same girl who told me I’m not losing weight picked a fight w me AGAIN today bc I was snacking on pistachios. Apparently 1, that’s “bird food”, 2, they’re fattening and 3, I should “see a nutritionist”.

I AM YOUR BOSS. And I asked you to stop talking about what I eat. so I straight up told her I did see a nutritionist when I was in residential.

Like is that enough to get you to stop?

  August 01, 2014 at 05:51pm

UGHHH today

I came into work today and my coworker told me that boy was smoking with some girl outside and we don’t know who she is. but I really don’t want to know shit like that…he can do what he wants. and I talked to him in person today and he was weird so whatever. ugh

then one of my associates told me I’m not losing weight bc I eat fruit (aka sugar). Didn’t know I should be losing weight??? Also didn’t know I should feel guilty about fruit.

I know I’m doing a lot of complaining but I could just cry.

#personal  
  July 31, 2014 at 05:10pm

borrowedyourwords it’s smaller. I have (had, I guess) one pair of 00 pants from when I was really sick and she got rid of them bc she doesn’t want me to think that I need to be that small ever again.

We both got so drunk last night and she just kept telling me how beautiful I am. We both cried a lot!

  July 30, 2014 at 09:41am

once upon a time my sister and I went out together and she confesses that she threw away my 00 pants bc she doesn’t want me to think I’m too big.

I’m actually crying.

#personal  
  July 30, 2014 at 12:47am

also this.

  July 29, 2014 at 04:53pm

had the day off. played with the twins my sister nannies for, bought a new book and went to the beach for a few hours. going to the beach alone is kind of becoming a thing? I’m genuinely happy there, I don’t feel lonely. I usually have such a hard time being alone (I admit it!) but I wasn’t worried or stressed or sad about anything today. It was a much needed break.

Thinking about going to a friend’s house tonight, he’s having a party and I’ve been kinda antisocial for the last two weeks.

#personal  
  July 29, 2014 at 04:36pm

spent the morning with my favorite five year olds!

  July 29, 2014 at 12:18pm

kinda blowing it w food today.

couldn’t care less tbh

  July 28, 2014 at 12:45pm

some life stuff:

  1. Woke up this morning and as I walked by the stairs, I could hear my parents downstairs talking about houses they looked at when we first moved here (almost 20 years ago!) Life at home definitely isn’t perfect and I know certain things have put a lot of stress on their relationship…it was just so nice to listen to my dad talk about that old memory in such detail and to hear my mom laugh. It sounds so simple, but I feel like there aren’t enough “easy” moments like that. I worry a lot about whether or not they’re happy.
  2. Getting ridiculous anxiety about my body…I keep looking at that picture from last night and I feel like my thighs are out of control huge? idk what’s wrong with me. I’m so insecure. Kinda been avoiding the mirror all day.
  3. This work week is going to be insane…we have floorset on Wednesday night and then a DM visit the following day, so everything needs to be perfect when we leave.
  4. Haven’t talked to boy since Monday SOO there’s that. Not really sure what to do about it. I know I said something dumb but he hasn’t exactly been perfect either and ugh it just drives me so fucking crazy when he pushes me away like this. So I’m just trying to give him some space and not let it get to me too much (much easier said than done, friends).
  5. I was really tempted to use behaviors today, not gonna lie. But I got through it, just trying to stay positive and do me! It’s harder when I’m off and at home. The rest of the week should be easier because I’m pretty much gonna live at work!
#personal  
  July 27, 2014 at 09:14pm

nebraskaswole yes! I’m obsessed with him haha

  July 27, 2014 at 05:52pm