In other news, could actually cry about Tom Brady rn.

Just gonna pretend that that didn’t happen.

  September 29, 2014 at 11:30pm

I can’t forget it, though I’ve tried
I know you regret it, love,
You told me so many times.

But I still wonder,
Why…
You left with her
And left me behind

Take your hands off him
'cause he's the only one that I 
Have ever loved
And please don’t find her skin
When you turn the lights out

I can’t erase it
From my mind
I just replay it, over,
Think of it all the time.
But I don’t want to imagine
Words you spoke to her that night.
Naked bodies look like porcelain,
You both knew I’d be bleeding inside….


Did she make your heart beat faster than I could?
Did she give you what you hoped for?
Oh, nights of loveless love, I hope it made you feel good,
Knowing how much I adored you. 

#welp  #music  #audio  #daughter  

blah

body image has been horrible ah.

I went on a date last night and he didn’t tell me where we were going for dinner. So I was freaking out A, bc I had no idea what I was gonna eat, B, bc I am generally weird about eating in front of new people and C, it’s a date so I’m nervous anyway hahah. I wore my NEDA necklace thinking that would make me feel a little bit better, he ended up asking about it over dinner which was surprisingly not that awkward? Probably because he’s from my town and is friends with my sister and kind of knew anyway. Went to his house after to watch a movie and he just kept telling me what a sexy body I have and UGHH I don’t wanna be sexy. hahah really having a tough time with it. Dinner was good though! Made it through without being a complete awkward, anxious mess.

#personal  

look at this peanut! 💕 #babyemmy

#babyemmy  
  September 26, 2014 at 02:40pm

done with work until Saturday, in bed with wine, jams, and writing to tall Navy boy.

perfectly happy with life tonight.

#personal  
Title: Before I Ever Met You Artist: BANKS 38 plays

Before I ever met you,
I never knew that I liked to be kissed for days;
Before I ever met you,
I never knew I could be broken in so many ways.

Before I Ever Met You, Banks.

so bad at sleeping

can’t stop crying.

Being human is such a fragile thing. I’m so…overwhelmed by the impact of my choices in the lives of people around me. Despite having good intentions and doing the right thing, people still get hurt. How is that fair? No one deserves to have their feelings hurt or their heart broken. I know that it’s a consequence of having relationships, but I don’t know how to accept the fact that I am responsible for the emotional pain of others. Living in this world is hard enough without other people hurting you, I don’t want to make anyone’s life harder.

I feel like I’m thoughtlessly stumbling through the hearts and lives of others and it isn’t fair that people, good people, have to suffer because of it. I’m a horrible person.

  September 21, 2014 at 10:04pm

He starts it off, as they always do, by saying,
“I still want to be friends” but I am already
on the next subway, the next taxi, the next whatever.
I am thinking about dinner that night, or the next night:
Angus beef, sauteed chicken, mahi mahi fish tacos.
I am thinking about the coffee pot and runner’s knee
and how much money I have in my savings. I am
thinking about hypothermia and missing bodies;
all the knives in my bed. I am thinking about how
the very word promise sounds more like an undoing.
I am thinking about the easiness of mouths.
How they open. How they give so much but also
about how they take away the things our minds
have committed to that permanent place of the brain,
where memories continue to rattle around long after
we’ve stopped shaking. I am thinking about how
he has turned me into a lake and I’ve never learned
how to swim. I am thinking about how I now have to
unlearn all of his secrets. Become a tourist to his body
again, blink against the hurt. I am thinking about
expensive hair cuts and retail therapy, dressing room
girls who are used to outlandish requests from customers.
I am thinking that this isn’t a dress my mother
would approve of, but honey, I look so good in red.

Kristina Haynes, “The Breakup Sweats” (via fleurishes)

partyvictim:

It’s about who you miss at 2 in the afternoon when you’re busy, not 2 in the morning when you’re lonely.

(via fadedtracksinthesnow)